It's Kinda Like Having a Ghostwriter for Your Private Life.
The adult (and legal) version of buying your A+ term paper. This letter can be used as a template for a talk or sent via written word. I will write that letter you have been putting off, wishing it would just magically appear. Not to mention, you never imagined that there's actually somebody out there who could write on your behalf.
Gosh, you feel soooooo bad. like really bad. It''s a haunt. and frankly, a buzz kill. It's your fault, you know it's your fault. or anyway, you know you need to own it. So let's get that bitter pill down. This is the letter (that again, I will write for you) that will make you look like the most generous and remorseful angel (even if you aren't quite there yet but, you know, really want to be). check it off your list without picking up a pen.
The one about money. Something seemingly so simple can get so sticky. Friendships end over it. families stop talking because of it. She's got it. He borrowed it. You want it. They owe it. Someone burned through it. Or its just plain time for that raise. In theory you know what you need to say, but somehow it's gotten charged, and the powerpoint presentation making your case has not SHAZAM appeared on your desk. Often the mere thought of a money confrontation reduces you to a crimson faced ten-year-old who just wet the bed. THIS IS THE LETTER THAT gets that money-monkey off your back.
M.I.A. BUT A KEEPER
You dig him/her, but something’s off. He/she feel checked out/caught up/not quite A.W.O.L but your ears are up. You’re not ready for a Dear John, but something’s not right in the state of Denmark and you want to get to it as unantagonistically as possible.
BUMP UP THE KINK
The one about sex. like, how could you possibly tell your beloved that they are boring in bed without crushing them? Maybe you can't. but I can. Forget the accoutrement for a minute, let's add a little habenero to the homestew. what is that old saying? Give and you shall receive? From crafting a sexy questionnaire to broaching a delicate matter, the sky's the limit. For one, I'm physiologically incapable of being shocked, and for another I like to make the unsayable sayable, not to mention I excel at the feedback sandwich. I'll nestle the awkward bit between two massively ego-stroking pieces of bread. so come on, loosen up. Let's get you out of that dry (as in Mojave) spell.
THE IT'S NOT YOU IT'S ME.
(THE COUTURE VERSION). The one about the break up. It's perfect on paper. Your family adores him/her and thinks you're crazy for having doubt. You keep asking your gut and it keeps telling you something you don't like: it's over. You can barely say it to yourself let alone your significant other. Here's the moment where you opt to divulge every last relevant detail to a writerly stranger such as myself. The cord needs cutting but you want it done with the grace and skill of a surgeon not a chainsaw.